The Parable of the Twins
Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the same womb.
Weeks passed, and the twins developed. As their awareness grew, they laughed for joy, "Isn't it great that we were conceived? Isn't it great to be alive?"
Together the twins explored their world. When they found their mother's cord that gave them life they sang for joy, "how great is our mother's love that she shares her own life with us."
As the weeks stretched into months the twins noticed how much each was changing.
"What does this mean?", asked the one.
"It means that our stay in this world is drawing to an end", said the other one.
"But I don't want to go", said the one, "I want to stay here always"
"We have no choice", said the other, "but maybe there is life after birth!"
"But how can it be?" responded the one. "We will shed our life cord, and how is life possible without it? Besides, we have seen evidence that others were here before us and none of them have returned to tell us that there is life after birth."
And so the one fell into deep despair saying, "If conception ends with birth, what is the purpose of life in the womb? It's meaningless! Maybe there is no mother at all."
"But there has to be", protested the other. "How else did we get here? How do we remain alive?"
"Have you ever seen our mother?", said the one. "Maybe she lives in our minds. Maybe we made her up because the idea made us feel good."
And so the last days in the womb were filled with deep questioning and fear and finally the moment of birth arrived.
When the twins had passed from their world, they opened their eyes and cried, for what they saw exceeded their fondest dreams.
'Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, nor has it so much as dawned on people what God has prepared for those who love Him.'
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Time for Prayer
Being a mom @ home to 3 children and trying to be a mom @ the NICU at the same time, is difficult. but all seemed to be going well for the first week of their lives with a few set backs. Azonte had and infection, high sugar and be anemic, so he needed to be on Antibiotics, insulin and needed 2 blood transfusions, but he was tolerating his feeds (which was only 10ml every 2 hours. Javarii was off the ventilator within a few hours and was also tolerating his feeds (same as A)
he also needed a blood transfusion.
Dec 30 I was able to change Javarii's diaper for the first time. Who would of thought changing a diaper would be such a blessing? but On Jan 2 things took a turn for the worse for J.
He was having problems breathing and his stomach was so swollen measuring 23cm. They ended up putting him back on the ventilator and taking him off of feeds to rest his stomach. After doing xrays, the drs thought he might have NEC, they told us 4-5% of preemies get it and there is a 70-80% of survival. He then became in critical condition and needed to be put on a JET ventilator which gives smaller breaths in his tiny chest. His right lung had collapsed. they also put him on antibiotics for the infection and morphine for the pain. He also has high sugars and is on insulin. My lil baby boy was so sick. After doing some more tests, the drs told us Javarii also had pulmonary Hypertention and needed to be put on a machine to give him Nitric because he wasnt producing it, like a body normally does. Jan 4 they did an ultrasound of his head to see if there was any bleeding in the brain. The results are, that there is grade 1 bleeding on the right side, and Grade 2 bleeding on the left. The drs will redo the test in a few weeks, but have told us that the brain should absorb the blood and heal its self. We are praying everyday that my baby gets strong and healthy. He is such a fighter, I'm proud to call him my son.
Seeing my son so ill broke my heart as a mother. I wanted to take his pain away and make him healthy so I could take him home.
As of today Jan 6, Javarii is doing better. His head is still very swollen, and he is still on the JET but his need for oxygen is almost @ 21 (which is room air) and his need for Nitric is none. The test results came back for the stomach infection (NEC) and it was negative. So they are stopping the antibiotics, and starting him on small feeds again.(breast milk)
I over heard the nurse tell another nurse that she thinks he will be off the JET by the weekend.
From Canada, to Africa around to England, we have been praying for his health to improve, and God is answering our prayers. I hope that this time next month, I will be able to post that I was able to hold my baby, as I have not been able to hold him as of yet.
Azonte is also making wonderful progress. He had high sugars for awhile and was still on Antibiotics but as of Jan 5, he no longer needs insulin or meds. He is still on CPAP but went from 7 to 6 and is breathing room air 21%. I first got to hold my son on Jan 4, which was such a blessing.It was a sweet and sour day for me. My one son is very ill, but I was able to finally hold my other baby. To feel his warm skin against my skin was such a feeling I can not describe. His cheek on my chest, oh what a wonderful feeling. I was also able to kiss my baby for the first time that day, words can not express the joy I felt. I have been able to hold him everyday since then.
he also needed a blood transfusion.
Dec 30 I was able to change Javarii's diaper for the first time. Who would of thought changing a diaper would be such a blessing? but On Jan 2 things took a turn for the worse for J.
He was having problems breathing and his stomach was so swollen measuring 23cm. They ended up putting him back on the ventilator and taking him off of feeds to rest his stomach. After doing xrays, the drs thought he might have NEC, they told us 4-5% of preemies get it and there is a 70-80% of survival. He then became in critical condition and needed to be put on a JET ventilator which gives smaller breaths in his tiny chest. His right lung had collapsed. they also put him on antibiotics for the infection and morphine for the pain. He also has high sugars and is on insulin. My lil baby boy was so sick. After doing some more tests, the drs told us Javarii also had pulmonary Hypertention and needed to be put on a machine to give him Nitric because he wasnt producing it, like a body normally does. Jan 4 they did an ultrasound of his head to see if there was any bleeding in the brain. The results are, that there is grade 1 bleeding on the right side, and Grade 2 bleeding on the left. The drs will redo the test in a few weeks, but have told us that the brain should absorb the blood and heal its self. We are praying everyday that my baby gets strong and healthy. He is such a fighter, I'm proud to call him my son.
Seeing my son so ill broke my heart as a mother. I wanted to take his pain away and make him healthy so I could take him home.
As of today Jan 6, Javarii is doing better. His head is still very swollen, and he is still on the JET but his need for oxygen is almost @ 21 (which is room air) and his need for Nitric is none. The test results came back for the stomach infection (NEC) and it was negative. So they are stopping the antibiotics, and starting him on small feeds again.(breast milk)
I over heard the nurse tell another nurse that she thinks he will be off the JET by the weekend.
From Canada, to Africa around to England, we have been praying for his health to improve, and God is answering our prayers. I hope that this time next month, I will be able to post that I was able to hold my baby, as I have not been able to hold him as of yet.
Azonte is also making wonderful progress. He had high sugars for awhile and was still on Antibiotics but as of Jan 5, he no longer needs insulin or meds. He is still on CPAP but went from 7 to 6 and is breathing room air 21%. I first got to hold my son on Jan 4, which was such a blessing.It was a sweet and sour day for me. My one son is very ill, but I was able to finally hold my other baby. To feel his warm skin against my skin was such a feeling I can not describe. His cheek on my chest, oh what a wonderful feeling. I was also able to kiss my baby for the first time that day, words can not express the joy I felt. I have been able to hold him everyday since then.
Twins: Born a blessing
Starting from the beginning of my pregnancy, it was high risk. We found out at 10 weeks that we were expecting twins. With having 3 kids @ home already, one being our only daughter who just turned 2, we were surprised. Twins do not run in my family, and I was pregnant with fraternal twins. With past loss' of 3 pregnancies in the 2nd trimester, I had a cerclage (stitches put into my cervix to keep it closed) put in @ 13 weeks. We had 2 ultrasounds a month and a visit with the Dr. every 10 days to make sure all was well.
Dec 21 I was 26 weeks pregnant and my dr decided that I shouldnt work anymore because I was having alot of pressure from the cerclage and the babies (Boys) and put me on moderate bed rest. On Dec 25 @ 1am (Christmas morning), I started having what I thought was braxton Hicks. As I started timing them, they were every 8-10 mins, so I tried to fall asleep in hopes that they would go away. During the night, I was awoken many times from the pain. We decided that we should go to the hosp and get checked just in case the stitches were infected. So @ 7 am, we went to the hosp and I was 1cm dilated. They gave me a steroid shot and gave me medication to try and stop the labor. The medication did not work, so when they checked me a few hours later, it seemed I went from 1cm to 3 and the stitches had to come out or they were rip. We were divested since those stitches were my security on holding my babies where they need to be. Around 10pm Christmas day, the contractions seemed to be slowing down, I was hoping to stop the labor and be able to go home and try to hold them in for a little longer. The drs had another choice, and told us we would have to deliver the babies within the next 24 hours because they were afraid of infection. My heart was broken, knowing that my babies were only 26 weeks, I knew the outcome might be a hard one.
I refused all medications as I didnt want to put my twins at anymore risk than we had to. So the pain got worse during the night and @ 4:30am on Dec 26, they checked me and I was 9-10cm and baby A was crowning. They rushed us into the OR where there were 12 dr, 16 nurses waiting for us. I was in a state of shock since I knew they were coming and I had no choice but to deliver. After each of them were born, I wasnt able to even see what they looked like, they rushed them away to the NICU. Baby A (Azonte) was 2 lbs, 2 oz and born @ 4:37am. Baby B (Javarii) was also 2 lbs 2oz and born @ 4:43am. Azonte was able to breath on his own and only needed a CPAP. But Javarii was having a hard time, and needed to be on a ventilator.
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